Wonderland.

So after this long continuous fight over the last 11 months we've been together..we decided to not live together after this lease is up. It sucks. You think I like to move back in with my parents? GUESS AGAIN. This time it gets better though..I'll have a daughter! Maybe it'll be better having Autumn around, it just really worries me. There is a reason I'm not living there in the first place..and my mom hasn't really shown much progress on that side but I'm hoping that I've grown up enough for the both of us. I don't really have any other options. Well, there is always options but both of them suck so I might as well choose the one that is going to benefit me in the long run.

So I'm going back to school full time and going to continue working and be a mother. We will see how much a person really can take. I don't know where our relationship status stands..but I'm not in a hurry to find out either. Time will tell what we should do and I'm not really in any hurry anymore. It's not like I'm going to go out looking for someone else right now either so don't get it twisted or anything-but that doesn't mean I'm going to be a hermit and like never go out with my friends.

I can't believe I've been making the choices I have been lately. I feel like I'm living some life that I had never wanted for myself. I know I deserve better, but why can't I ever make that happen? It's like I settle! That's bullshit! No more putting others first before myself. From now on it's just Autumn & I first, and no one is going to stand in the way THIS time.